Thursday, December 8, 2016

Lead me to the rock- Poetry

Lead me to The Rock

Once found at the well of truth, I hid in a corner with shame and despair, but here came a messenger that said, don’t fear I’ve been there.  I was at the same place where you were not too long ago.  It took some time being sick of being sick and tired and that’s when I found my rest, when I did all that I shouldn’t have done, there was someone to challenge me to be my best.   They told me about a man who I only heard of, but never knew- come and see what He can do.  He’s made me into the person I am today, so I reach for you so that you can know the truth and the way.  You see its confusing because your eyes have yet been opened and closed are your ears, but don’t worry because His love cast of all your fears.  You don’t understand how you got to this place but just know this His love will always keep you safe.  You look back and say just help me please, the world has you so bogged down, it brings you to your knees.  And there He is just lifting your head and saying, “Listen you’ve done the rest, why not try me instead.  My burden is not heavy to bare and my yolk is light, I want to show you that I think you’re worth the fight.  In fact you are worth saving, in fact you are worth dying for and therefore I did.  Come walk with me for nothing I will withhold, but I keep you in my hands to make you the perfect mold.  After my image you will be, for I am the hope of glory that will live in thee.” This messenger told me of man I hardly knew and gave me His words to get me through.  I asked what I was missing and then it was plain to see--  All I needed this whole time was for Jesus to talk to me.  I am not perfect and fail at times but I am free I am being changed because Christ lives in me.   

 Your present is not your future and in fact its just the stone that leads you to the rock.   We boast not of who we are today, but how we are only what we are because He remains within us.  He remains in us so that in our weakness we are strong.  He remains with us, so that in all ways what is true and is right His will be done, He works through us and for us.  His work is perfected in us daily so that we reach for the high calling of Christ Jesus.   And for that To God be All the Glory all the Honor and all the praise.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Choose freedom

"Offloading some serious defense can make you offensive to the things that oppose you"

Where can a bound man go that his chains and shackles permit, if a bound man goes anywhere its only where the shackles will not prevent him from going and doing.  You might be confused by that-- think of it this way.  How can someone bound have liberty to move about and go forward- the only area that they can move in is the confines of where those chains are attached to or supported by.  A person bound with their arms to their body and ankle to ankle will not jump into a deep ocean with the expectancy to survive.  There is no expectancy so naturally you avoid the ocean and I presume other places that require you to be able to use all of your limbs and have the activity of them.  Simply speaking you won't put yourself in a situation that you can't get out of because the limitations can be life threatening.  What if I told you that the chains in the spirit are life threatening?  The chains in the spirit bind you to the same thing you want to escape but you never make it out because some unfortunately are comfortable with the chains.  Did you see the movie the Shawshank Redemption?  How ironic is it that a prisoner dreams of their freedom and after years and years he is finally set free.  He goes into the world not knowing what to expect but it was so overwhelming that he did the unthinkable- bound again.  Can I submit to you that often bondage is deep routed through a traumatic experience, through pain and through generational cycles.  In order to live the life that YOU WANT you have to be free from the prison that holds you bound, be free of the chains of confinement and want to remain that way

Ezekial 28:15-  Thou was perfect in thy ways from the day thou was created; UNTIL iniquity was found in thee.  As new born babes we start off pure, clean and new, until that day we decided to exercise free will (God given gift) and make the wrong the decisions and choices; whether in our actions, moral compass, thoughts, habits or ways.  Some things are unavoidable like generational cycles brought about by curses on the family for unrepeated sin in the bloodline others through traumatic experiences.  God's desire is not for you to remain bound but to be set free from all of that to live the life that you deserve.  Luke 4:18, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free" Jesus came to set you free, to bind the strongman and loose your shackles so that you may live the life you want to have.  A life that is Him in you to experience all joy, love, peace, comfort and the ability and strength to face the days of adversity that are inevitable in all of our lives.  The rain falls on the just and the unjust and if you don't know that by now just keep living, the believer is not a dreamer but a believer.  We know that there are times in our lives where circumstances are just not in our immediate favor BUT GOD will work all things together for the good that love Him, BUT GOD will be our strength and comforter and He will pull us through so that we go through and don't stay stuck.   There is deliverance and healing waiting for you through Jesus Christ. 

Now some will not be honest with themselves in reading this part and that is NOT okay.  To tell yourself the truth is to start to recognize where your bondage and shackles are and THE TRUTH will set you free.  So where are they?  Are you constantly on the outside looking in, do you wish you had someone else's life, do you dream of the day that you could have your own moment instead of living vicariously through others (not that you can't celebrate others but you say to yourself what about me?), do you compare yourself to others and then criticize?  Are you afraid to step out of the box and take on new challenges because you are afraid of failure? Do you see perfection as the only measure of success so you strive just to fail and then give up?  The point is are you happy with the life you are living, are you happy with where you are and what you are doing? Are you really?  Are you telling yourself that you are happy because simply wearing the fa├žade to the world doesn't bring judgement against you?  Are you really happy with who you are?  Are you happy with who you are with? Be honest.  It's your life, not mine.  I will tell you from a personal experience, I had to answer these questions and yes at first I was not honest with myself and then I realized I was never going anywhere until I got real.  Freedom is apart of being real, it says here I am a mess and wanting better, wanting more, needing better, needing more so its time Lord.  Man cannot do this for you, only the Lord almighty can and He will when you come into alignment with His purpose and will for your life. 

What sins have you bound and lets look at why?  How many of us have the face of a lion but the heart of wimp, roar on the outside but meow on the inside?  You are afraid, like the cowardly lion- You personify mean and tough because on the inside your hurt and broken. You give a nasty look because you put up walls so that no one can reach in?  You fear the unknown so you judge what you do not understand?  You fear the loss so you hold onto things that were never yours to begin with?  You fear being alone, so you hold onto everything gathering it around you, including space, place and time so that you don't have to look at you.  Sometimes fear of what we see on the inside of ourselves paralyzes and kills the growth that's needed in order to burst out of those chains.  Let me let you in on a secret-  If your life is in Christ, there is no fear.  Lets knock the devil down right now with some scripture:  2Timothy 1:7 " God did not give you a spirit of fear"  If God didn't give it to you then that means that whatever is not of God is of two things, the flesh or Satan.   The devil would love to have you bound by these fears among the other spirits because then that means you stay in the same place, doing the same thing, acting the same way, and he has successfully conquered you and your GOD given purpose.  I give him no credit so I refuse to say that he won in your life, but the truth is YOU loss much in time, happiness, life, joy, experiences and success because you remained stagnant in your growth,  your plight became your platform and therefore you became defeated.  But God-- has a way out-  I'm just sayin' lets drop the eloquence and the crafty articulation in order to sound edge-a-ma-cated.  You can expect to live in a life that you do not want to live in because you are unwilling to get the devil out of your life.  Some don't know how, some have been walking with him and don't even know it.  It's time to take the challenge to RISE into the place that God has called you.  Don't be afraid to let things go, don't be afraid to confront the ugliest parts of your inner being because guess what, you are not confronting you-- You are actually taking a stand and confronting the spirit that is operating through you and once you recognize you it--  You are ready to get it out of your life,  prepare the eviction notice, notify the authorities because something has to give; offloading some serious defense can make you offensive to the things that oppose you.  Count it not a loss but a gain for Christ.    Do not become defensive that is a sure way to hold onto things but rather go into the opposition knowing that there is an opportunity. 

Look at David-  I love David, Son of Jesse.  Disqualified from the very beginning-  Little sheep boy, no worth except to be in the field taming sheep, but was the mighty warrior-  Above all of those in Saul's army, including the king himself, David took a stand against the Goliath.  How many times do you stand up to goliath's that are not yours but refuse to stand up to your own?  Well looking at it from another angle, why don't you just show up for the battle and let the Lord of hosts take out the very same thing that everyone thought was unbeatable.  You just have to show up-  that's all it takes.  You have to show up and be willing to defeat those Goliaths in your life.  I like the conversation that happened in the scripture.  When Goliath (the strong man, the giant) saw David and the sling shot he said, "what am I a dog?"  Oh yes, Goliath, that you are-- You are the unclean spirits in the life of the believer that continue to lay dormant and then rise up and bark at the wrong time to steal opportunities of success.  It gets better, David takes one stone and right in between the eyes he takes out the giant and then uses the giant's own sword to cut his head off.  A little graphic but I want to tell you that if you can see that in the spirit you too will become the mighty man of valor ( or woman ) like David.  You see, the stone strategically disabled the sight and shattered the skull.  Killing the sight of the enemy then the source of life which is the brain.  Why do you think Jesus stomps on the head of the serpent. Cut off the source of life for it to manifest-   The enemy will only engage what he can see and will manifest so it is important to blindside the enemy.  The only way you can do that is to get into the battle for your life, the one that you are suppose to have. 

That is just conquering the fear and not really conquering the rest that comes along with it.  The spirit of rejection, the spirit of familiarity, the spirit of confusion these are all things that have you bound to outside of the garden, chained up to see the beautiful things within but never really making it within reach to be apart of it.  You have to choose freedom, you have to look at your life realistically and say no more, God I need you.  You have to be willing to let go of things and be willing to move forward unapologetically for wanting the life you are suppose to have.  Jesus did not take upon the cross in vain.  He came for this very reason, He is the deliverer, the healer, the restorer of joy and gladness.  He is the way, the truth and the life, He will give you the life He has for you that will supersede any of your own limitations and expectations because that is who is He is.  That is not to say that there won't be hard times and hard ships. 

You are designed, formed and fashioned with a unique purpose and a unique gift to present to the world.  You are created with a purpose, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  You have been redeemed by the blood of the lamb and made in the image of Christ.  You have been given freedom and liberty in Him.  He wants your time, He wants your cares, He wants you to become who you were always destined to be.  He calls out for His people whom He knows by name.  He wants you to trust Him.  I know for someone reading this right now you come from a place of distrust, you have become defensive and therefore you have become an offensive person.  I know that you are looking on the outside in and say I wish, I wish I wish,  Jesus is saying, don't wish, pray, don't think about it and don't act on it, pray and I will come to you and set you free to do my will.  You must want what I have for you more than you want this world.  My problem is not giving it to you,  but if you remain bound the problem is what I have for you can not be held in your hands because you can only hold the things you have collected and there was only enough room for what you could fit in the palm of each hand.  Your arms are still bound to your body so you will never be able to wrap yourself around everything that I have for you.  You ankles are shackled together so you can move but very slowly and without liberty from side to side so you inch forward and it seems like forever to get there.  I need you to want to be free, I need you to know that there is a life you chose and there is a life I want to give you.  I am that I am and I am able but I need you to be a willing participant in your life.  Some of you are dying and giving your life away to the world that is fading, BUT I COME THAT YOU HAVE LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY.  I have come to redeem you from the hand of the enemy that wants you bound with lies-  I have come to heal you, to provide for you, to love you.  All of these things are yours, I am at the door- Just knock, call out my name seek the salvation that I want to give you, seek the kingdom of heaven and my ways and all shall be added unto you. 
Jesus calling.  


Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Collateral Beauty

Collateral Beauty

Scriptures Ezekial: 36:23-27 / 36:32-35 / 37:22 / 38
Isaiah 61 / 56:8 and 58:11

What is collateral beauty?  Well to start its the new Will Smith movie coming out December 16th.  I actually saw the short trailer snip it on Instagram on one of my many social media breaks.  It caught my attention and thought this is the word. 

Collateral as defined by Google - is a pledge of security or surety and also means same descent but different line.  Huh??   Sounds like two different things to me.  Tonight's word came from Ezekial the book of the prophets.  The Lord was speaking in a very unconventional way to me last week as I was "preaching" in my kitchen which quickly turned into last weeks blog.  (Stand with the Father) As He spoke about those needing to understand the word, He spoke of unity and mockers.   He led me Ezekial Magog and Gog and I couldn't understand how this really applied but where the spirit leads I follow and He will reveal it.  The word of the Lord speaks of sanctification of His name among the heathens which we have profaned, but not through our merit but because He is God He says, " The heathen shall know that I am the Lord God when I shall be sanctified IN you before their eyes (reference scripture Revelations 3:20-  I will come INTO you and sup with you) I will take you from among the heathen and bring you into your own land. I will cause you to walk in my statues and you will keep my judgements.  (Ezekial 23-24 and 27).  I will cause you to dwell in the cities and wastes shall be builded- and they shall say that this land that  was desolate is become like the garden of Eden and the waste and desolate and ruined cities are become fenced, and are inhabited.  Ezekial 37: An ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O my people and brought you up out of graves- --  

The Lord reveals to me what He is conveying in Hebrew Gematria and in numbers.  A reoccurring number that He has should me is 444.  This is just one of many.  In the Hebrew it translates to Tav Mem Daleth.  Tav= The truth,  Mem= Water, Wisdom, Revelation and Daleth= The gate; grace for humanity.  Its Jesus calling.  The collateral is Jesus, the Father did not send his son in vain, but as collateral a price to be paid which could never be paid back.  The gate and the doorway into wisdom, life, revelation, birth.  The grace for humanity; so here it is--  We are at the hour at the gate; you do not know what hour the Son of man comes and therefore He is calling you out of your former desolation with the heathen and into His courts -- for the heart of the Father is to see you saved. 

444 translated from the Hebrew to English is the word INTERIA / THAMED.  Energy expended with inactivity.  The google description used is a vehicle moving and thrust an inactive object with the energy of the vehicle.  There is going to be a shift, moved or be moved.  Often we come to Christ at a time of crisis in our lives, He is showing us the end from the beginning and therefore is giving us a welcome into His gates.  Mathew 9:13 -  I will have mercy and not sacrifice; for I am not come to call the righteous but the sinners.   He is calling us from one life to the next.  He is stating my life for yours and your life for mine.  There is an exchange to shift or to move-- There is the collateral. 

Another social media stop I came across a post of young man singing in Hebrew.  It was beautiful.  The words penetrated my heart and reached the inner me I just had to know what he was saying.  (seek link above-- even if you don't understand it; its so beautiful).  I found this link and the length of the song is 4:44.  Lord what do I need to hear.  Jamie, listen to the words.

When the heart cries
only God hears
The pain rises from the soul
A man falls down before he sinks
He cuts the silence with a small prayer

Shma Israel, my God,
you are the mighty one
You gave me my life
you gave me everything
A tear in my eyes, the heart cries in silence
And when the heart is silent the soul cries out

Shma Israel, my God, I am all alone now
Make me strong, my God
so I will not be afraid

The pain is great and there is no where to run
Make it end, I don't
have any strength left
When the cries
time stands still
A man sees his life
passing in front of him
He doesn't want to go
to the unknown
He calls his God as he stands
on the edge of the deep

This song is for His people---  The lost and dying world-- You will know that He is sovereign Lord, a Lord that loves you--  One that gave HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON to Die for you, one that goes to ends of the earth to seek you, High and Low.. Once that does not want you to perish but to have everlasting life-  A life that is worth having and worth living.  The heart of the father seeks HIs people to turn away from the world.  What profit a man if He gain the world but loses his soul?  The heart of the father, the creator cries out for HIS OTHERS. 

He is the gate--  Aren't you tired standing on the outside of the gate looking in?  How long with you remain in your own desolation before the spirit the departs and you find yourself just living to live in the same course of life as a repeat due to failure.  God is calling you into the gates because He knows that you do desire something different-- but He also knows the end from the beginning.  

The beauty about it is:  When the gate opens, your heart is renewed, the world behind me and the cross before me.  Isaiah 56:8 The Lord gather the outcast, yet will I gather others unto Him.  Isaiah 58:11-  He shall guide you continually that satisfy they soul in drought and make fat thy bones a watered garden whose waters fail not. 

Ezekial further states:  That when He robbed the graves-  he will give you a new heart, a heart of flesh and renew in you the right spirit.  Hallelujah.. CPR--    Christ Powered Resurrection.  For you laid dead in the world suffering in the sin and the loss of desire and willingness to seek more, but TODAY the beauty of life breathed into you by a sovereign God  --  RESTORES, HEALS AND IS EVERLASTING.     

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Don't judge I wasn't born this way-- Part 1

I cry out to you as you sustain me in a small encasement surrounded by water, knowing that you are the first voice I hear.  I cry out for you as the flood gates open and I make my way from darkness into light that leads me into a new world.  I cry out to you to be nourished every few hours to satisfy my hunger, I look to you to hold my head up and seek you when I am ready to mobilize and crawl.  I cry for you when I feel the anxiety of separation, I search for you room to room when I don’t see you or feel you; not quite fully understanding the words I will never leave you nor forsake you.  I look to you as I stand upright and need the support to remain on my own two feet using the muscle in my limbs.  I extend my hand to you so that I gain my footing and able to walk for the first time.  I look to you to tell me what things are out of my natural born curiosity.  I learn to do some things on my own knowing that I have only gained enough knowledge to say, “Daddy, I need help.”  I look for your words to show me what things are.  I jump up and down to vie for your attention, in your silence I just look at you and you always know how to help.  As I grow in the years and seasons I try so hard to do it on my own but realize that I only had enough strength to push the chair to the top of the counter, but not enough strength to hop up and get what it is that I needed, so all I do is look at you and you lift me up.  I come to you for your wisdom and ask you how to apply it because I realize that in all stages you are my Abba Father.  The heart of a worshipper.  From creation He knitted us in the womb, from birth to be born again we go back to the stages of infancy no matter what our natural age is.


When He Knocks --Stand with the Father-

When the Lord knocks its because He is seeking you so that you have ears to hear and eyes to see what the spirit of the Lord is saying and doing.  I was up very early writing a totally different blog and then I lost it (like accidentally deleted)- or thought I did.  I immediately thought I was doing something wrong and kept trying to recover the draft.  I had no choice, hands in the air and asking for His words and guidance I asked if I was saying something wrong--

Prior to that--  I was in my kitchen hearing the words in the spirit and became some what energized, I can't say that it was anger but there was a squeeze in my chest, like a hurt and the words were just flowing and I heard preach it that way.  So naturally I started writing and there is went;  switch direction so I feel impressed to say that the Lord will have His words come through the way He wants them.

I was writing in Spanish and even declaring the word as I paced in the kitchen and I felt my hands and my facial expressions changing.  As the message started flowing the spirit of the Lord showed me that not everyone understands a foreign language.  Not everyone was born this way, not everyone has the ability to pick things up that quick but we go by what we see.  If I were to stand and preach in Spanish (which I can not YET but can speak the language) how many of the people in the church would understand me.  How many people where we decide to worship would understand?  If I was in a church whose spoken word was in Spanish, all would understand or some would say Hey... she aint Hispanic I understand her but she didn't say it right, I get it but that's not how we talk.   Or- I would be in front of people who couldn't understand me and read my facial expression and have to rely on me to translate -- or rely on the others to do so if they were gifted enough to understand a second language.   I felt the pinnacle of the sermon when He spoke and said, what if you didn't understand, how would you feel?  You have to rely on others to translate, but instead they hold it because they are selfish, because they are mockers. 

The Lord is calling for more than unity in the body of Christ, He is calling for every man to examine themselves and MOTIVES and to really turn away from their own feelings.  The Lord is not pleased with the mockers.  If I were to stand and preach the word in Spanish and you could not understand the instruction that could save your life, if you could not understand the emotion behind it you would be lost.  You wouldn't be filled--  but it will take someone to explain it to you for you to understand.  How dare you understand something and not share it?  How dare you sit on the side and mock and not support.   Your Christianity cost too much for you to stand on the side of the accusers.  Who are you-- that you are the accuser of the brethren of who seek me, who are you that you are one who wants to see failure, who are you?  The Lord is calling for Unity--  A kingdom can not be divided and stand-- a word is separated in part by those who don't feel it-- because the words become words rather than a living translation and become literal to those who seek their own truth rather than the Lord's truth.  The words are used to prove your point in your righteousness rather than to change a life.  

If one holds onto the bread while His neighbor is hungry than what have you given your neighbor?  If one sets out to succeed in Christ and you have given him judgement then what have you given your neighbor, if one is clear on a path and you set forth a mountain then what have you given your neighbor?   You placed barriers, you've mocked, you've tormented, and you did not see me--   How do you not see me when I was with you in your trial, when I was with you in your infancy , when I was with you in your moment of discouragement.

His kingdom is bigger than the world we choose to live in and therefore it will come forth--  The Lord is preparing His people for what will come and how it will come-- the enemy will not prevail against the Army of the Lord.  Decide what side you are on as of now-- because those who place barriers, those who mock, those who choose to set out against the will of the Father do not stand with the Father.. 

Conversely, the Lord is raising up a new generation that is not apart of the religiosity but relational.   The foundation of the rock is based on the foundation of the word which is the word wrapped in flesh come to this earth to do a new thing.  There is always the foundation, which is Jesus Christ, the triune God- the Father, the Son and the Holy spirit, and there is ONE TRUTH and that does not change..  but the Lord is impacting lives, regions and areas with game changers, with people who seek the change within to see it in others-- for people who can see farther than where they have ever been.  Be apart of the plan to see HIS KINGDOM COME -- HIS WILL BE DONE...    Be the change you want to see, become who He has called you to be-- be willing, available and able and don't look on the sidelines nor look back-- but press towards the high calling of Christ.   

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Breaking away

On facebook I posted a topic and stated can I be real-- the  scripture from 1st John 4:18- There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear; because fear has torment, He that fear is not made perfect in love.

Fear bound me for awhile, fear of not being liked, accepted, rejected, not loved, left alone, fear of going against the grain so I conformed.  I was molded by the world that shaped me rather than the hands that created me in my mother's womb.  I allowed words and people to dictate who I was going to be and what I was going to represent because it blended in and I was not alone.   I came to a point  in my life where being alone and out of my element was the most challenging and rewarding experience.  I learned through the time of solidarity that there was a discovery that needed to be made, even after being saved.   While writing the first book only after it was published did the process really start to take place.  The book became the foundation rather than the work and was actually very prophetic as to what the process was going to look like and how to prepare.  You see, God starts to prepare you for the process that you need in order to heal. He outlines it for you and making some strategic arrangements in order for His will to be accomplished in your life.  You have free will to do what you please but when you have hit the bottom of the pit, you feel the depth of your soul empty.  You start to feel that nothing is possible rather than looking at all of the possibilities.  The book, The Outlook on Your Inbox that the Holy Spirit ministered through me was a spiritual mirror that I often looked at and looked away from.  I received the word and the information but it never penetrated the depth of the spirit, there was more work to be done and it has to do with healing the emotions and renewing the perception of yourself and who you are called to be in Christ.

I have yet to tell it all, but all I can say is I don't look like what I have been through.  I understand that while reading this you may think, not so, not me, (meaning -- what you did was not as bad as what I did-- pssst. sin is sin) not an addict, not a prostitute, no gang member, not a liar, not a thief; but if you are any of these, You are who He came for.  My life was covered by the image I wanted people to see, my identity was shaped by people's hurtful words and lack of understanding, I played the harlot.  Some of you will clench your pearls, others will judge but allow me to explain.  A harlot is someone who sells themselves for personal gain, financial gain often defined as money in exchange for ......   no need to fill in the blanks.   Can I submit to you that if you are not living up to your potential, if you live for the financial gain outside of the will of God, if you give yourself away to anyone just because you don't want to be alone, if you submit to other's opinions of you -- you too played the harlot.  You too, have sold your self for far less than what you are worth, you too have lived a life filled with tears and mourning wishing things could be different but just couldn't give something up.  You could be there now, thinking that you are living the life you wanted but at night you and I both know that there is a longing in your spirit and in your soul for more.

My longing for more was when I was found at the well --    The Lord dealt with me in truth but in love, I had so much to look at it in the matter of my heart that I was dishearten by what I became from the choices that I made.  In the moment of my enlightenment, after much time with Jesus, I learned that I was afraid to be loved the way I should have been.  Christ showed me through my experience with him and through the Holy Spirit speaking outright that I had to start with a relationship with Him before I learned to love myself.  If I didn't understand what unconditional love meant, if I didn't understand what forgiveness was how could I give it and more importantly how could I accept it.  I was in fear, and I remained that way for sometime.  While it is just me and my girls I found a love that I never knew before,  I was comforted with every word, at night I would be alone on the balcony and it was like I was with someone who was talking my language who spoke to my spirit and my heart and my soul.  I didn't have that before.  I was in a place finally that made me feel good about me.  And in the physical it was just me, but on that balcony, during those walks I was never alone.

The God I know, the Christ I know took the wretched mess undone and started molding me in love.  I won't lie - a lot of it was hard to swallow but His love for me would not allow me to give up because now I am not contending for me but for the work that He is doing in me, contending for the feeling of being fulfilled, contending for being made whole and to be used by Him and to receive the promises that he has- which is a life to prosper, a life of joy, a life of love and peace.  Jeremiah 29:11   I feared that the love I knew before would be the best I would ever received.   Not so.  Perfect love cast out fear.  His words ministered to the depth of my soul that now even at this moment, I live today wanting to be better tomorrow, learning from the past and moving forward as my worship to Him.

If you fear, you are not in perfect peace, if love torments and you long for more then you are not filled.  I want to tell you from my personal experience that the only thing that is going to fill you is the love of Christ in you.   I was so afraid that my past and my failures would hinder me in a way that I was going to be rejected by the one thing that has never left me nor forsaken me.  That is what I was use to, I was use to people picking up and leaving and never really giving back to me what I put in them.  I was use to changing my wants and forsaking my desires and learned to not have a say because I didn't want to disrupt the status quo.  I was used to begging people to stay in my life  so I would change who I was and learned to compromise everything that I wanted; then quickly becoming frustrated that they stayed because I still wasn't filled or happy.  That needed to be dealt with --I was placing God in a box with people, I was really saying this love can not be-- if I mess up, your going to take your hand from me and leave me.   Christ started to show me all the grace and mercy that He extended in love for me, I started to realize where I was in the process.   It was about knowing who you are in Christ and the love that He has for you.  God so loved this world that He sent His only begotten son and those that believe in Him will have eternal life.  Christ loved you so much that He died for you, your life in exchange for His.  So why wouldn't I give Him full access to have his way-  I was holding onto what I thought I needed.

Even in the process - people speaking about changes somewhat bothered me- because they didn't understand and I didn't want to explain- and when I tried to it wasn't completely understood.  I was taking on their emotions and their grief and the mourning of the old me.  That had to stop, I wanted the new me more.  I wasn't going to defend myself or explain that He began a work in me and I've been redeemed and set free from my past, from the image that you knew.  I acknowledged that it is now time to be called Jamie-  I couldn't live in the past nor feel bad every time someone reminded me of what I use to do, who I use be and what I use to look like.  It was time to deal with the emotion behind it.  I knew that my path was a process and that I would no longer walk in rejection or fear of what others considered to be extreme.  It was time to break away.   The blog itself is called a new name for a reason.  Jacob wrestled for His new name to become Israel which in essence is the promise.  Jacob had his ways about him and God had Him in a place of fear, despair and need.  Jacob had to contend for the name change, He could have moved forward keeping his ways but the truth is -- what would have happened if he never fought for his prophetic destiny.  What happens if the caterpillar never fully dies to self and aborts the process-  the butterfly never emerges and it simply dies.  We wrestle everyday - yes you wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities but you wrestle within when you are transforming, OR WHEN IN NEED OF ONE.  Your new life is emerging and the old one can not be resurrected.  Your old life consisted of fear and condemnation, your new life consists of love and peace, joy and fulfillment.  Its the battle of two worlds- but love made perfect will cast out everything that is not for you and that will hinder you.  That is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Those are His words, the Spirit of the Lord is upon Him to set the captive free.  Our old name is tied to an emotion and false identity; and really a play on words emotions are temporary and create false realities at times-- its a temporary feeling that keeps us bound but He has called you new, His, and the redeemed.  His perfect love for you -- has saved you from you, redeemed you from this world and have given you mercy,

You can not be ashamed about who you were-  its His story for your life, for His Glory.  You have a choice to make.  You can sit in the pit, you can play in the palace in the jesters field OR you can come to the king's court.  He is calling you to be His-  He is shaping you in your pain with a unique identity.  He has placed a treasure in you, a box that has collected your tears, which is actually apart of the gift that has made room for you. He is asking you to use that treasure, unlock the box, there are gifts in you that you know not of because you fear, because you wont let him remove the years of clutter around them -- OH BUT WHEN YOU UNLOCK THAT BOX the light of Christ will illuminate in you and the gifts will make room for you.  He wants your life, your testimony and in exchange for that He will give you peace, joy, love-  He will give you the life he has for you in exchange for the one that you created for yourself.  His love has cast out fear, His love has redeemed me, His love has brought me back to life, His love has restored me.  My past did not disqualify me, in fact it added to the treasure box. Your past does not define you; Christ does.  He calls you redeemed.

Out of the ashes you will R.I.S.E.  ----   the clench in your heart, the thud in your belly and the knot in your throat is saying that this is for you.  It says Its time for you to RISE--  its saying you are not living who you are called to be and you have an opportunity to receive the promises of the Lord, the love of the Lord -- Jesus calling..  He's at the well, He's in the pit, He's in the prison, He's in the crack house, He's in the hospitals, He's at your door knocking, Jesus calling!

Perfect love cast out fear....  No longer will it be apart of you.. Make the choice to seek Him and He will show you great things about you that you never knew.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Inner Healing and Deliverance

Have you ever considered starting over, moving out of state, out of the country, leaving all that you know behind and just starting over.  Many of us have considered it, pondered and played with the idea and then reality sets in and we feel stuck in the same situation that we are trying to leaving.  Over the last decade of my life I have considered many times starting over in a new place UNTIL I met Jesus at the well in my life.  There He gave me another chance to start over and be renamed with my true identity.  Want to get to know yourself through the eyes of our Lord?  Here is how I did it; I would love to tell you take these 5 simple steps to a new life but let us be for real, a new start is never that easy.  There is a lot work to be done on the inside prior to changing your external situation. 

1.  Start having daily conversations with God.  The first step into building a relationship is communication.  Communication opens the door for reciprocation; meaning YOU talk HE talks YOU ask HE answers.  Having a prayer life gets the attention of God but also builds your faith.  Through faith you start to hear the word of the Lord that is spoken over you.  The Bible outlines what the Lord wants for you and what He expects from you as well.  The word of the Lord tells you,  "YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE."   Psalms 139.  You are perfection in the sight of your creator that is who you were meant to be--  We were all clean slates when birthed but through the years and influence of the world and our own choices we have tainted the canvas that was once perfection.  Not liking the picture that is painted?  The good news is that Christ died so that your canvas can be wiped cleaned and the portrait of perfection can be recreated. 

2. Clean your "house" -  You are created to be the temple of the Holy Spirit where Christ dwells within you.  I would have reoccurring dreams about cleaning house and how I was good at getting behind furniture and moving it out of the way.  This was a clear indication to me that the Spirit was indicating that there was something going on inside of me that needed some serious work -  I was able to hide behind a smile and always joking but behind the green hazel eyes and flesh was a broken person. As I fasted and prayed God gave me revelation in dreams, songs, the written word and in visions of where I was, who I was, where I should be and who I should have been.  The vision of where I should have been and who I was born to be was so great that I couldn't ignore it but had to contend with the vision to get keep it alive.  I was ready for God's transformation power to take out.  As I fasted I would see in my dreams the very things that God was removing from me, actions, attitudes, poor disposition of self worth, thoughts and even people.  I allowed him to do whatever it took to get me to where He originally planned for me to be.  You have to learn to let go and let God.  Little by little life started to come together piece by piece, He is my healer, the One who put me back together, the mender of my broken heart.  Isaiah 1:16-  Wash yourselves and cease from doing evil deeds.  1 Corinthians 1:30- It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.

3.  Commit to the work of the Lord-  Own your transformation and commit 100% to it.  God does not expect us to be perfect - there is only one that is and that is Jesus Christ but He expects you to be a willing participant in the transformation.  What He has removed from you, remember not.  Isaiah 43:18- Remember not the former things and do not dwell in the past.  You simply can NOT GO BACK it is not an option.  Once the hand of the Lord redeems you from the ways of this world and the hand of the enemy you have to make a conscious decision and know that you who are becoming can not partner with who you were.  Simply stated, You can not put old wine in new wine skins-  You are being made new.  I speak of you in the process because the truth is that your creator perfects your ways daily.