Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Collateral Beauty

Collateral Beauty

Scriptures Ezekial: 36:23-27 / 36:32-35 / 37:22 / 38
Isaiah 61 / 56:8 and 58:11

What is collateral beauty?  Well to start its the new Will Smith movie coming out December 16th.  I actually saw the short trailer snip it on Instagram on one of my many social media breaks.  It caught my attention and thought this is the word. 

Collateral as defined by Google - is a pledge of security or surety and also means same descent but different line.  Huh??   Sounds like two different things to me.  Tonight's word came from Ezekial the book of the prophets.  The Lord was speaking in a very unconventional way to me last week as I was "preaching" in my kitchen which quickly turned into last weeks blog.  (Stand with the Father) As He spoke about those needing to understand the word, He spoke of unity and mockers.   He led me Ezekial Magog and Gog and I couldn't understand how this really applied but where the spirit leads I follow and He will reveal it.  The word of the Lord speaks of sanctification of His name among the heathens which we have profaned, but not through our merit but because He is God He says, " The heathen shall know that I am the Lord God when I shall be sanctified IN you before their eyes (reference scripture Revelations 3:20-  I will come INTO you and sup with you) I will take you from among the heathen and bring you into your own land. I will cause you to walk in my statues and you will keep my judgements.  (Ezekial 23-24 and 27).  I will cause you to dwell in the cities and wastes shall be builded- and they shall say that this land that  was desolate is become like the garden of Eden and the waste and desolate and ruined cities are become fenced, and are inhabited.  Ezekial 37: An ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O my people and brought you up out of graves- --  

The Lord reveals to me what He is conveying in Hebrew Gematria and in numbers.  A reoccurring number that He has should me is 444.  This is just one of many.  In the Hebrew it translates to Tav Mem Daleth.  Tav= The truth,  Mem= Water, Wisdom, Revelation and Daleth= The gate; grace for humanity.  Its Jesus calling.  The collateral is Jesus, the Father did not send his son in vain, but as collateral a price to be paid which could never be paid back.  The gate and the doorway into wisdom, life, revelation, birth.  The grace for humanity; so here it is--  We are at the hour at the gate; you do not know what hour the Son of man comes and therefore He is calling you out of your former desolation with the heathen and into His courts -- for the heart of the Father is to see you saved. 

444 translated from the Hebrew to English is the word INTERIA / THAMED.  Energy expended with inactivity.  The google description used is a vehicle moving and thrust an inactive object with the energy of the vehicle.  There is going to be a shift, moved or be moved.  Often we come to Christ at a time of crisis in our lives, He is showing us the end from the beginning and therefore is giving us a welcome into His gates.  Mathew 9:13 -  I will have mercy and not sacrifice; for I am not come to call the righteous but the sinners.   He is calling us from one life to the next.  He is stating my life for yours and your life for mine.  There is an exchange to shift or to move-- There is the collateral. 

Another social media stop I came across a post of young man singing in Hebrew.  It was beautiful.  The words penetrated my heart and reached the inner me I just had to know what he was saying.  (seek link above-- even if you don't understand it; its so beautiful).  I found this link and the length of the song is 4:44.  Lord what do I need to hear.  Jamie, listen to the words.

When the heart cries
only God hears
The pain rises from the soul
A man falls down before he sinks
He cuts the silence with a small prayer

Shma Israel, my God,
you are the mighty one
You gave me my life
you gave me everything
A tear in my eyes, the heart cries in silence
And when the heart is silent the soul cries out

Shma Israel, my God, I am all alone now
Make me strong, my God
so I will not be afraid

The pain is great and there is no where to run
Make it end, I don't
have any strength left
When the cries
time stands still
A man sees his life
passing in front of him
He doesn't want to go
to the unknown
He calls his God as he stands
on the edge of the deep

This song is for His people---  The lost and dying world-- You will know that He is sovereign Lord, a Lord that loves you--  One that gave HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON to Die for you, one that goes to ends of the earth to seek you, High and Low.. Once that does not want you to perish but to have everlasting life-  A life that is worth having and worth living.  The heart of the father seeks HIs people to turn away from the world.  What profit a man if He gain the world but loses his soul?  The heart of the father, the creator cries out for HIS OTHERS. 

He is the gate--  Aren't you tired standing on the outside of the gate looking in?  How long with you remain in your own desolation before the spirit the departs and you find yourself just living to live in the same course of life as a repeat due to failure.  God is calling you into the gates because He knows that you do desire something different-- but He also knows the end from the beginning.  

The beauty about it is:  When the gate opens, your heart is renewed, the world behind me and the cross before me.  Isaiah 56:8 The Lord gather the outcast, yet will I gather others unto Him.  Isaiah 58:11-  He shall guide you continually that satisfy they soul in drought and make fat thy bones a watered garden whose waters fail not. 

Ezekial further states:  That when He robbed the graves-  he will give you a new heart, a heart of flesh and renew in you the right spirit.  Hallelujah.. CPR--    Christ Powered Resurrection.  For you laid dead in the world suffering in the sin and the loss of desire and willingness to seek more, but TODAY the beauty of life breathed into you by a sovereign God  --  RESTORES, HEALS AND IS EVERLASTING.     

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Don't judge I wasn't born this way-- Part 1

I cry out to you as you sustain me in a small encasement surrounded by water, knowing that you are the first voice I hear.  I cry out for you as the flood gates open and I make my way from darkness into light that leads me into a new world.  I cry out to you to be nourished every few hours to satisfy my hunger, I look to you to hold my head up and seek you when I am ready to mobilize and crawl.  I cry for you when I feel the anxiety of separation, I search for you room to room when I don’t see you or feel you; not quite fully understanding the words I will never leave you nor forsake you.  I look to you as I stand upright and need the support to remain on my own two feet using the muscle in my limbs.  I extend my hand to you so that I gain my footing and able to walk for the first time.  I look to you to tell me what things are out of my natural born curiosity.  I learn to do some things on my own knowing that I have only gained enough knowledge to say, “Daddy, I need help.”  I look for your words to show me what things are.  I jump up and down to vie for your attention, in your silence I just look at you and you always know how to help.  As I grow in the years and seasons I try so hard to do it on my own but realize that I only had enough strength to push the chair to the top of the counter, but not enough strength to hop up and get what it is that I needed, so all I do is look at you and you lift me up.  I come to you for your wisdom and ask you how to apply it because I realize that in all stages you are my Abba Father.  The heart of a worshipper.  From creation He knitted us in the womb, from birth to be born again we go back to the stages of infancy no matter what our natural age is.


When He Knocks --Stand with the Father-

When the Lord knocks its because He is seeking you so that you have ears to hear and eyes to see what the spirit of the Lord is saying and doing.  I was up very early writing a totally different blog and then I lost it (like accidentally deleted)- or thought I did.  I immediately thought I was doing something wrong and kept trying to recover the draft.  I had no choice, hands in the air and asking for His words and guidance I asked if I was saying something wrong--

Prior to that--  I was in my kitchen hearing the words in the spirit and became some what energized, I can't say that it was anger but there was a squeeze in my chest, like a hurt and the words were just flowing and I heard preach it that way.  So naturally I started writing and there is went;  switch direction so I feel impressed to say that the Lord will have His words come through the way He wants them.

I was writing in Spanish and even declaring the word as I paced in the kitchen and I felt my hands and my facial expressions changing.  As the message started flowing the spirit of the Lord showed me that not everyone understands a foreign language.  Not everyone was born this way, not everyone has the ability to pick things up that quick but we go by what we see.  If I were to stand and preach in Spanish (which I can not YET but can speak the language) how many of the people in the church would understand me.  How many people where we decide to worship would understand?  If I was in a church whose spoken word was in Spanish, all would understand or some would say Hey... she aint Hispanic I understand her but she didn't say it right, I get it but that's not how we talk.   Or- I would be in front of people who couldn't understand me and read my facial expression and have to rely on me to translate -- or rely on the others to do so if they were gifted enough to understand a second language.   I felt the pinnacle of the sermon when He spoke and said, what if you didn't understand, how would you feel?  You have to rely on others to translate, but instead they hold it because they are selfish, because they are mockers. 

The Lord is calling for more than unity in the body of Christ, He is calling for every man to examine themselves and MOTIVES and to really turn away from their own feelings.  The Lord is not pleased with the mockers.  If I were to stand and preach the word in Spanish and you could not understand the instruction that could save your life, if you could not understand the emotion behind it you would be lost.  You wouldn't be filled--  but it will take someone to explain it to you for you to understand.  How dare you understand something and not share it?  How dare you sit on the side and mock and not support.   Your Christianity cost too much for you to stand on the side of the accusers.  Who are you-- that you are the accuser of the brethren of who seek me, who are you that you are one who wants to see failure, who are you?  The Lord is calling for Unity--  A kingdom can not be divided and stand-- a word is separated in part by those who don't feel it-- because the words become words rather than a living translation and become literal to those who seek their own truth rather than the Lord's truth.  The words are used to prove your point in your righteousness rather than to change a life.  

If one holds onto the bread while His neighbor is hungry than what have you given your neighbor?  If one sets out to succeed in Christ and you have given him judgement then what have you given your neighbor, if one is clear on a path and you set forth a mountain then what have you given your neighbor?   You placed barriers, you've mocked, you've tormented, and you did not see me--   How do you not see me when I was with you in your trial, when I was with you in your infancy , when I was with you in your moment of discouragement.

His kingdom is bigger than the world we choose to live in and therefore it will come forth--  The Lord is preparing His people for what will come and how it will come-- the enemy will not prevail against the Army of the Lord.  Decide what side you are on as of now-- because those who place barriers, those who mock, those who choose to set out against the will of the Father do not stand with the Father.. 

Conversely, the Lord is raising up a new generation that is not apart of the religiosity but relational.   The foundation of the rock is based on the foundation of the word which is the word wrapped in flesh come to this earth to do a new thing.  There is always the foundation, which is Jesus Christ, the triune God- the Father, the Son and the Holy spirit, and there is ONE TRUTH and that does not change..  but the Lord is impacting lives, regions and areas with game changers, with people who seek the change within to see it in others-- for people who can see farther than where they have ever been.  Be apart of the plan to see HIS KINGDOM COME -- HIS WILL BE DONE...    Be the change you want to see, become who He has called you to be-- be willing, available and able and don't look on the sidelines nor look back-- but press towards the high calling of Christ.   

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Breaking away

On facebook I posted a topic and stated can I be real-- the  scripture from 1st John 4:18- There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear; because fear has torment, He that fear is not made perfect in love.

Fear bound me for awhile, fear of not being liked, accepted, rejected, not loved, left alone, fear of going against the grain so I conformed.  I was molded by the world that shaped me rather than the hands that created me in my mother's womb.  I allowed words and people to dictate who I was going to be and what I was going to represent because it blended in and I was not alone.   I came to a point  in my life where being alone and out of my element was the most challenging and rewarding experience.  I learned through the time of solidarity that there was a discovery that needed to be made, even after being saved.   While writing the first book only after it was published did the process really start to take place.  The book became the foundation rather than the work and was actually very prophetic as to what the process was going to look like and how to prepare.  You see, God starts to prepare you for the process that you need in order to heal. He outlines it for you and making some strategic arrangements in order for His will to be accomplished in your life.  You have free will to do what you please but when you have hit the bottom of the pit, you feel the depth of your soul empty.  You start to feel that nothing is possible rather than looking at all of the possibilities.  The book, The Outlook on Your Inbox that the Holy Spirit ministered through me was a spiritual mirror that I often looked at and looked away from.  I received the word and the information but it never penetrated the depth of the spirit, there was more work to be done and it has to do with healing the emotions and renewing the perception of yourself and who you are called to be in Christ.

I have yet to tell it all, but all I can say is I don't look like what I have been through.  I understand that while reading this you may think, not so, not me, (meaning -- what you did was not as bad as what I did-- pssst. sin is sin) not an addict, not a prostitute, no gang member, not a liar, not a thief; but if you are any of these, You are who He came for.  My life was covered by the image I wanted people to see, my identity was shaped by people's hurtful words and lack of understanding, I played the harlot.  Some of you will clench your pearls, others will judge but allow me to explain.  A harlot is someone who sells themselves for personal gain, financial gain often defined as money in exchange for ......   no need to fill in the blanks.   Can I submit to you that if you are not living up to your potential, if you live for the financial gain outside of the will of God, if you give yourself away to anyone just because you don't want to be alone, if you submit to other's opinions of you -- you too played the harlot.  You too, have sold your self for far less than what you are worth, you too have lived a life filled with tears and mourning wishing things could be different but just couldn't give something up.  You could be there now, thinking that you are living the life you wanted but at night you and I both know that there is a longing in your spirit and in your soul for more.

My longing for more was when I was found at the well --    The Lord dealt with me in truth but in love, I had so much to look at it in the matter of my heart that I was dishearten by what I became from the choices that I made.  In the moment of my enlightenment, after much time with Jesus, I learned that I was afraid to be loved the way I should have been.  Christ showed me through my experience with him and through the Holy Spirit speaking outright that I had to start with a relationship with Him before I learned to love myself.  If I didn't understand what unconditional love meant, if I didn't understand what forgiveness was how could I give it and more importantly how could I accept it.  I was in fear, and I remained that way for sometime.  While it is just me and my girls I found a love that I never knew before,  I was comforted with every word, at night I would be alone on the balcony and it was like I was with someone who was talking my language who spoke to my spirit and my heart and my soul.  I didn't have that before.  I was in a place finally that made me feel good about me.  And in the physical it was just me, but on that balcony, during those walks I was never alone.

The God I know, the Christ I know took the wretched mess undone and started molding me in love.  I won't lie - a lot of it was hard to swallow but His love for me would not allow me to give up because now I am not contending for me but for the work that He is doing in me, contending for the feeling of being fulfilled, contending for being made whole and to be used by Him and to receive the promises that he has- which is a life to prosper, a life of joy, a life of love and peace.  Jeremiah 29:11   I feared that the love I knew before would be the best I would ever received.   Not so.  Perfect love cast out fear.  His words ministered to the depth of my soul that now even at this moment, I live today wanting to be better tomorrow, learning from the past and moving forward as my worship to Him.

If you fear, you are not in perfect peace, if love torments and you long for more then you are not filled.  I want to tell you from my personal experience that the only thing that is going to fill you is the love of Christ in you.   I was so afraid that my past and my failures would hinder me in a way that I was going to be rejected by the one thing that has never left me nor forsaken me.  That is what I was use to, I was use to people picking up and leaving and never really giving back to me what I put in them.  I was use to changing my wants and forsaking my desires and learned to not have a say because I didn't want to disrupt the status quo.  I was used to begging people to stay in my life  so I would change who I was and learned to compromise everything that I wanted; then quickly becoming frustrated that they stayed because I still wasn't filled or happy.  That needed to be dealt with --I was placing God in a box with people, I was really saying this love can not be-- if I mess up, your going to take your hand from me and leave me.   Christ started to show me all the grace and mercy that He extended in love for me, I started to realize where I was in the process.   It was about knowing who you are in Christ and the love that He has for you.  God so loved this world that He sent His only begotten son and those that believe in Him will have eternal life.  Christ loved you so much that He died for you, your life in exchange for His.  So why wouldn't I give Him full access to have his way-  I was holding onto what I thought I needed.

Even in the process - people speaking about changes somewhat bothered me- because they didn't understand and I didn't want to explain- and when I tried to it wasn't completely understood.  I was taking on their emotions and their grief and the mourning of the old me.  That had to stop, I wanted the new me more.  I wasn't going to defend myself or explain that He began a work in me and I've been redeemed and set free from my past, from the image that you knew.  I acknowledged that it is now time to be called Jamie-  I couldn't live in the past nor feel bad every time someone reminded me of what I use to do, who I use be and what I use to look like.  It was time to deal with the emotion behind it.  I knew that my path was a process and that I would no longer walk in rejection or fear of what others considered to be extreme.  It was time to break away.   The blog itself is called a new name for a reason.  Jacob wrestled for His new name to become Israel which in essence is the promise.  Jacob had his ways about him and God had Him in a place of fear, despair and need.  Jacob had to contend for the name change, He could have moved forward keeping his ways but the truth is -- what would have happened if he never fought for his prophetic destiny.  What happens if the caterpillar never fully dies to self and aborts the process-  the butterfly never emerges and it simply dies.  We wrestle everyday - yes you wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities but you wrestle within when you are transforming, OR WHEN IN NEED OF ONE.  Your new life is emerging and the old one can not be resurrected.  Your old life consisted of fear and condemnation, your new life consists of love and peace, joy and fulfillment.  Its the battle of two worlds- but love made perfect will cast out everything that is not for you and that will hinder you.  That is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Those are His words, the Spirit of the Lord is upon Him to set the captive free.  Our old name is tied to an emotion and false identity; and really a play on words emotions are temporary and create false realities at times-- its a temporary feeling that keeps us bound but He has called you new, His, and the redeemed.  His perfect love for you -- has saved you from you, redeemed you from this world and have given you mercy,

You can not be ashamed about who you were-  its His story for your life, for His Glory.  You have a choice to make.  You can sit in the pit, you can play in the palace in the jesters field OR you can come to the king's court.  He is calling you to be His-  He is shaping you in your pain with a unique identity.  He has placed a treasure in you, a box that has collected your tears, which is actually apart of the gift that has made room for you. He is asking you to use that treasure, unlock the box, there are gifts in you that you know not of because you fear, because you wont let him remove the years of clutter around them -- OH BUT WHEN YOU UNLOCK THAT BOX the light of Christ will illuminate in you and the gifts will make room for you.  He wants your life, your testimony and in exchange for that He will give you peace, joy, love-  He will give you the life he has for you in exchange for the one that you created for yourself.  His love has cast out fear, His love has redeemed me, His love has brought me back to life, His love has restored me.  My past did not disqualify me, in fact it added to the treasure box. Your past does not define you; Christ does.  He calls you redeemed.

Out of the ashes you will R.I.S.E.  ----   the clench in your heart, the thud in your belly and the knot in your throat is saying that this is for you.  It says Its time for you to RISE--  its saying you are not living who you are called to be and you have an opportunity to receive the promises of the Lord, the love of the Lord -- Jesus calling..  He's at the well, He's in the pit, He's in the prison, He's in the crack house, He's in the hospitals, He's at your door knocking, Jesus calling!

Perfect love cast out fear....  No longer will it be apart of you.. Make the choice to seek Him and He will show you great things about you that you never knew.